I love being a mum. I have two gorgeous children who I love to bits, and I’m so proud of them. They bring me lots of joy. It’s so easy to look at babies before you become a parent and think how cute and cuddly they are. It’s only once you’ve had your own baby that you realize that, yes, they are cute and cuddly, but it’s really hard work as well! Your life is never going to be the same again. I wouldn’t have it any different – I couldn’t imagine life without my son and daughter.
Being a mum is also full of pains – especially the pains you start to feel as your child enters the school age world, and they start to realize that not everyone likes them. The pains of watching your child go through something such as surgery, knowing that you can only be there for them, but wishing you could stop what was going on, or take their place. The pains of watching your child feel hurt and rejected. Children, like adults, have to walk through situations, it’s part of growing, learning, becoming a better person. As a mum I often wish I could scoop mine up under my wings and shield them from the world.
Our son has special needs – he is borderline on the autistic spectrum. We have walked through many pains and disappointments with him over the years, we’ve also walked through much joy together. At the moment we are going through a painful period. He is struggling so much with school, he is being bullied, and is saying things like he would rather he wasn’t here 😦
I’m pretty sure now that we are going to home school him, as well as our daughter. It’s a big undertaking, but I have to look out for them. I’m not withdrawing them from the world, as they’ll get a lot of social interaction still. Things aren’t working well for my son, and I have to take action. No one else will fight his corner, and I have the means to stop sending him into a bad situation everyday. I was listening to U2’s song Miracle Drug earlier, it really resonates with Jonathan and I, because we really would like to know what’s going on in our sons head at times.
I want a trip inside your head
Spend the day there…
To hear the things you haven’t said
And see what you might see
I want to hear you when you call
Do you feel anything at all?
I want to see your thoughts take shape
And walk right out
Freedom has a scent
Like the top of a new born baby’s head
The songs are in your eyes
I see them when you smile
I’ve seen enough I’m not giving up
On a miracle drug