I’ve been aware today of how very fickle my trust in God can be at times. Many of you know that we are in the process of emigrating to Canada. I regularly visit an immigration forum where fellow “hopefuls” share their journey so far. It seems that some who applied around the time we did are now being asked for medicals. This has really made me bouncy and positive for the past few days, as, usually within a month or so of medicals (providing you pass them) you get the lovely permanent residency visa stamp in your passport! After a long process now, it seems as if Canada is finally on our doorstep. I’ve been praising God and praying “bring on the medicals Lord!” I’m so excited about what God has in store for us in the future.
Zoom on in my day to a few hours ago, and my mood suddenly changes. We’ve learned, from said forum, that the Canadian government are proposing a change to their immigration system. It seems they are wanting to focus on particular skills they require, thus bumping the people who hold these skills up in the queue, and basically forgetting about the rest. Now, before anyone jumps down my throat, I must point out here that I think this is great, if a country is short of a particular skill then they should seek people out skilled in that area. However, I’m not so sure if it’s good for us, when this proposed motion will come into effect etc etc. My bouncy mood has deteriorated and I feel a little anxious. If we get a big no from the Canadian High Commission, then that will leave me questioning everything I have ever heard from God, even if I actually hear from Him in the way I think I do. There have been so many things that have happened over the past few years that indicate that Canada is where God wants us, that it would be very hard if it all fell apart.
I’m definitely like one of the Israelites. God sent the plagues, released them from slavery in Egypt, made way for them to cross the Red Sea (incidentally it’s passover week!) and they were only so far into the journey, found themselves in a desert, and suddenly the miracles that God had done for them are forgotten about, and they’re moaning because they are h0t and hungry, and asking why has God done this to them, they were better off as slaves etc (shheesh, it’s hard to please some people!). That is it really though, isn’t it, the simple fact is, as soon as it gets a little tough and isn’t running as smooth as we like, we simply forget about what God has recently said to us, done for us etc and start to doubt, whine or moan.
I guess faith is the main part of our journey with God, and I have to hang on to those promises I believe God has given us, and claim them. My mood is now getting bouncier again, yet I feel discouraged with how hot and cold I can blow with God.