Struggles

20 Jul

I’m really struggling with church again. I’m hesitant in what I write here as I know some from church read my blog. I feel like I’m suffocating, gasping for air. I’m fed up with what seems so monotonous. I feel constricted. I’m just existing, dying inside. Life is just being sucked out of me. My relationship with God is suffering. I know this is something I have to deal with and not blame anyone for. I’m really not sure how long I can continue this charade for though.

I need to be able to breath again. To feel life running back through my soul and veins. I need God to have lots of grace and mercy for me. To hang in there with me. To get me out of this dark hole. The prolonged wait for our visa really isn’t helping. I need to know that dawn is coming.

The lyrics below come from Oh, The Glory of it All by The David Crowder Band. This song is one of the ones which I find soothing to my soul at the moment.

After night
comes the light
dawn is here
dawn is here
it’s a new day
it’s a new day
everything will change
things will never be the same
we will never be the same

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2 Responses to “Struggles”

  1. Erin July 21, 2008 at 00:49 #

    No advice here either. But lean on the people you can and I’ll pray peace for you. And come visit me some day!

  2. Heidi July 21, 2008 at 21:20 #

    Hey Lyn, I keep meaning to e-mail you and see how you’re making out. I just want you to know that you are on my mind regularly and that I’m praying things start rolling for you guys. Hang in there. I hope greener New Brunswick pastures are ahead.

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