….. Jonathan and I used to hang out with friends from church. We inadvertently formed a young adults group – ages ranged from 18 up to about 26. There were about 15 or so of us who would hang out – not usually all at once – and it was through this that Jonathan and I met and married. There was a real special bond between everyone at this time in our lives. On Friday we attended the wedding of one of our friends from this group and found ourselves to be the only couple there that we knew.
Over the years we have all drifted apart. Some went on to university and simply lost touch. Others deliberately lost touch – two, who had been a couple, split up just before Jonathan and I married and it was shortly after our wedding that they both decided to disengage from our group of friends in case they bumped into one another. Within two years or so of Jonathan and I marrying there were only 6 of us still in touch. Two had, in this time, married. Unfortunately they had a painful divorce five years ago, and at first they separately kept in touch, but soon find this too difficult as it reminded them of the past.
Our friend, who married on Friday, announced three or four years ago that he did not believe in God anymore. Through this, we have found, that we are the only Christian friends he still has, everyone else (from our group of friends and beyond) appears to have bailed out on him. For us it was simple, we love you for who you are, not what you are. Also, we know that he has been kicked in the teeth quite painfully by several churches in the past. He has been used and abused. We wonder if this is really why he no longer goes to church and that maybe the belief in God remains, even if just a tiny amount – he did, after all, get married in a church. He doesn’t like to talk about God and church anymore, and we respect that, so we don’t really know where he is at, but I pray that he finds that love and relationship again one day, if it has been lost. I’m curious to know if it was merely easier for him to say to others that he did not believe anymore, rather than to justify why he didn’t attend church anymore? Maybe one day we’ll know.
I found myself thinking on Friday how sad it was that a group of people who were so close at that time have drifted away into history. We all shared a real passion for Christ, we would pray and worship fervently together. We laughed and cried together. We celebrated together. We were quiet together. We had lots of fun together. We had a community that I have only just managed to touch upon since before it fades away. I miss the times we had together.